


Boyfriends

by flyawayabi



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Angst, Complete, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, There's a little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:28:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24495040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyawayabi/pseuds/flyawayabi
Summary: Tigger Warning. mentioned r*pe. kinda graphic at times.Lassiter cleans up the mess of Shawn's emotional trauma. Unfortunate situations lead to something more than a friendship.
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

Detective Carlton Lassiter’s eyes scanned the room. He was in a gay bar, undercover of course. He wouldn’t ever admit to himself that he was enjoying this assignment a little too much; he was surrounded by attractive men. His eyes landed on a familiar face. So familiar that he wondered what on earth Shawn Spencer was doing there. Here to ruin my investigation again, Carlton thought rolling his eyes. For some reason he couldn’t take his eyes off Shawn. He was flirting with an equally attractive man sitting by the bar next to him. He usually would have brushed it off, because it was really none of his business, but he caught Shawns eyes and they seemed to be begging for Carlton's help. Then he started paying attention. He noticed Shawn's body language as he avoided every touch from the man flirting with him. He faked a smile here and there, but panic was set on his face. He probably hadn’t realized it.

Carlton went back to searching for their perp. He was looking for a younger fellow who had been raping and strangling men at this specific gay bar. His mind wandered to Shawn again and he couldn’t get the panicked expression on Shawn’s face out of his head. He twirled his head back around to glance at the stool where Shawn and his newest toy had been. He glanced back just in time to see Shawn being dragged towards the bathroom by the semi attractive man. He appeared to be about the same age as Shawn. Again not your business Carlton, he grumbled in his head.

It had been awhile since he had seen Shawn, and nothing suspicious had happened. Maybe I should look for him? Carlton thought grudgingly. Why was he always the one keeping and eye out for a grown man who couldn’t even keep an eye out for himself. He had stalked into the bathroom with his usual scowl on his face, sick of Shawn always fucking with his investigations. 

“SBPD. Everyone out!” He yelled into the bathroom waving his favorite badge around the small dingy bathroom. If Shawn was in here he would definitely have been out by now. Suddenly worry filled his stomach. If Shawn wasn’t in here where could he be? He had to check the parking lot just in case he’d left. Then Carlton would feel like an idiot. That was definitely it, Shawn had just left with the attractive ish man. He wasn’t sure why he cringed at the thought of Shawn with anyone else

His theory was crushed at the sight of Shawn’s motorcycle parked in one of the first parking spots out front. 

“Fuck.” He was exasperated. Entering the bar again, he noticed the exit sign above a door in the same direction as the bathroom. Raising his gun, he stalked out the door. There was a dark alley behind the building with few lights; his eyes took a couple seconds to adjust. There, pressed against the wall, was Shawn. 

“Freeze.” Carlton hadn’t even realized he had spoken until the guy pushed off of Shawn, with his hands in the air. Shawn collapsed, gasping for air. It occurred to Carlton that the other man had been strangling Shawn when he had approached them, it all seemed like a blur to the head detective.

Calling an ambulance and backup, Carlton had already cuffed the guy. He couldn't let go of him for fear he'd run but he desperately wanted to. He wanted to go to Shawn’s side to make sure he was okay and to assess the damage before the medic arrived and before people started asking questions. 

"Shawn." Carlton attempted getting his attention before he continued, "Are you okay?" He asked gently, holding his breath for the younger man's reply. 

Shawn's eyes were tightly closed as all he could muster was a tiny nod in Carlton's direction. 

"Is he okay? He's better than okay!" The man in handcuffs' proud bragging voice had found itself. Carlton didn't want to hear about it so he shoved the man hard in the back.

"Is that your boyfriend?" His evil eyes danced in his head as he continued taunting, "No judgement here, I like them feisty too. Although maybe next time pick someone who isn't so eager to have it up the ass. Fucking whore." Whispering the last words in Carlton's ear, he then spit at him. That was it. Carlton had had it. He swung his already clenched fist at the man's face, the force of his blow completely knocking him out. Fist in the air over the unconscious man, he heard a feeble "Lassie" from against the wall that made him stop mid punch. Shawn needed him, he didn't need his bloody fists from killing someone who deserved to rot in prison. He couldn't help but still be fuming mad. He'd wished Shawn would have let him kill the guy. 

Wordlessly he turned from the unconscious body and made his way over to Shawn. His fears were confirmed as he made his way over to the psychic. So much for his gift, Carlton growled in his mind, but his negative thoughts dissolved as he helped Shawn to his feet. Shawn's pants were unbuttoned and unzipped, and the belt was undone, that was a horrible sign and he knew it but closed his mouth and looked up. Shawn’s shaking hands pulled self consciously at the zipper on his jeans, then at the button. His hands were useless as he fumbled with the button on his jeans. He hadn’t even realized he was crying until hot wet drops of water mingled with his useless hands making them slippery. All Carlton could do was watch the struggle before shoving Shawn’s hands away fixing the button and belt himself. Shawn’s body was leaned against the wall and his eyes were looking up, at the black night sky. Calton wanted so desperately to look him in the eyes and tell him it was going to be okay, but finally the paramedics were there with loud sirens, and bright lights. He walked away from Shawn and over to the disgusting body laying on the pavement. 

“Get up.” He kicked the body, earning a small grunt from the lifeless looking body. “You’re going away for a long time.” He said handing the man to another officer to have him taken to the station. He caught the bad guy but somehow that wasn’t his priority.  
Shawn was sitting in the back of an ambulance when Lassie walked over to him. He couldn’t look at him, if he hadn’t figured it out beforehand, now it was certain he knew. 

“Shawn said he just wants to go home, and we really can’t force him to go to a hospital.” The Paramedic said to Lassiter, clearly assuming Carlton was his patient's ride home. 

Not knowing anyone else at the crime scene, head detective Lassiter would be forced to drive the psychic home. Juliet was off on a day trip and wasn’t home yet, and Gus had been away for the entire week on vacation. Henry Spencer was still sleeping. 

The drive to Shawn’s apartment was dead silent. Lassiter couldn’t remember the last time Shawn was ever this quiet. In fact, he didn’t think he’s ever been this quiet in his entire life. It was uncomfortable, for him anyway. He glanced at the passenger’s seat every once in a while to see the same thing each time. An unmoved Shawn curled into himself, facing the window. Closed off huh? He never thought the younger man could ever be closed off.

The car finally reached a stop, outside of Shawn’s apartment. The passenger didn’t move. Lassie didn’t speak. He was waiting for his passenger to leave. 

“Don’t wanna be alone.” He heard the quiet whimper of Shawn, who was now facing him, with tear stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He couldn’t say no to him, so he turned the car around and headed for his own home. 

After unlocking his door, setting his keys down in the bowl on the table at the entrance of his apartment, Lassie was on his way to find Shawn a pair of sweatpants. He left him standing in the middle of his living room area, the most uncomfortable he’d ever been, possibly. He fiddled with his hands feeling incredibly self conscious already. God he hated feeling this way. 

Carlton appear a couple minutes later with some comfy clothes for Shawn to change into

“The bathroom is down the hall to your left, if you wanna shower or anything.” He added uncertainty while handing him his clothes. 

Shawn took them, slowly, and thanked Lassie.

He had been in the shower for almost 45 minutes. He knew Lassie was going to start to worry if he didn’t hurry up, but he couldn’t stop. His back was pressed against the cool tile while his eyes drained whatever liquid that was left. The water was so hot it could burn his skin. He wished it would burn off all his skin. Then he wouldn’t have to remember this night, or think about how people were going to look at him now. Little did he know that Lassiter had already made some calls, to keep this situation completely quiet. 

There was a loud knock on the bathroom door, no doubt it was Lassie's strong hand. He smiled but immediately felt sick, remembering the punches Lassie had thrown at his attacker. 

“Spencer, if you don’t answer me I’m coming in.”

He found his voice, “I’m okay.” He had tried to control it but instead it came out choked and forced. That didn’t sound right Shawn decided, but before he could decide anything Lassiter had opened the door and was staring at Shawn’s body. Fuck. More tears escaped shawn’s eyes as he shrunk to the floor of the shower, curling into himself. Lassiter didn’t care that he was still in his suit and tie from work, he practically ran to Shawn’s side the second he hit the ground. He was there next to Shawn, the younger man pulled himself into his lap, still choking out sobs. Lassie ran one hand over Shawn's back in comforting circles and the other hand in his hair. He didn’t care that his favorite work suit was completely soaked, although with tears or hot water from the shower he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t about clothes, it wasn’t even about the shower anymore. It was about being there for Shawn.

Shawn had gotten up first, shut off the shower, and walked into the bedroom with the clothes Lassie gave him in one hand and a towel wrapped around his waist, leaving Carlton in the shower almost completely soaked. He didn’t mind though because that meant he could do Shawn's laundry and get himself together before going to bed. He had figured he’d sleep on the couch and give Shawn the bed, because he was probably in pain. His mind trailed back to when he first walked into the bathroom. Specifically the dark bruises littering the psychic’s skin: around his stomach, on his wrists, but the worst most scarring bruises to Carlton were the dark purple bruises around Spencer’s neck, where he had almost been choked to death. 

Absentmindedly Lassiter had picked up the dirty laundry, stripped himself of his suit, and grabbed some extra clothes out of the bedroom to change into. He didn’t see Spencer in the bedroom so he assumed he was in the kitchen. 

As he was throwing the Laundry in the washer he noticed a small blood stain on the back of Spencer’s pants. His heart sunk. His fears were confirmed for sure this time. 

He wanted to ask Shawn so much, but he didn’t feel like it was appropriate. He found him on the couch, watching the black television screen. His eyes looked glassy, like he wasn’t really there. He broke the daze just by standing in the doorway. 

“I can sleep on the couch, if you want?” He meant for it to sound much more certain but it came out as a timid question. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Spencer, you can sleep in the bed.” 

He followed Shawn to the bedroom, watching him get into bed, and curl up again. He hated that the younger man was so closed off all of a sudden, but he supposed a traumatic event could do that to a usually confident person. 

“Are you okay?” He asked cautiously, standing as close as he could to the bed. “Do you need anything?” 

Shawn’s battered hand reached out and grabbed his wrist gently. For the first time that night Shawn looked Carlton in the eyes whispering, 

“Please stay.”


	2. Chapter 2

The clock read 3:30 am. Why the fuck was he wake so early? There was a person in his bed when he had fallen asleep he was sure of it. Yes, it was Spencer. Where had he gone? 

Carlton made his way out of bed to check the house. His active imagination was awake and imagining what if Shawn’s attacker broke out of the cell at the police station. They hadn’t even transported him to the local prison yet. His wild imagination was shut down when he walked into the kitchen to see Shawn leaning on the counter. There was no food, just a cup of chocolate milk on the counter near him. Carlton smiled inwardly, some things never changed about Shawn. He lacked a shirt, and was wearing Lassie’s own sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. Carlton thought he looked beautiful standing there, besides the angry bruises on his skin. A frown set on his face realizing Shawn was much skinnier than he ever imagined him to be. Not that he spent all his time thinking of Shawn, because that would be completely inaccurate. He was beginning to worry again.

“It wasn’t the first time I met him.” Shawn broke the silence, avoiding Lassie’s gaze again. “I’d seen him for awhile before this. I told him it was over, and he got mad. I never saw him that mad.” It was quiet. So quiet in the apartment they could've heard a pin drop. 

“Never saw the red flags I guess.” He shrugged looking down. Lassiter had walked closer so now he was behind Shawn almost directly. Shawn could feel his presence and leaned into Lassie. He felt the younger man shiver. Must have been at a thought he supposed. 

“Spencer.” Lassie said, attempting to get him to look at him. Nothing, so he tried again. 

“Shawn.” His voice was a softer hushed tone. It had worked, Shawn had shifted his body so his back was pressed against the counter and he was now facing Carlton. Their faces were so close Lassie could feel Shawn’s breath on his face. It was Shawn who closed the gap between their lips, slowly kissing Carlton. Lassiter deepened the kiss until he could feel hot liquid on his face, and finally the taste of salt intertwining with their lips. Tears, he realized they were tears, as he pulled away from the heavenly moment. Gently his thumbs whipped Shawn’s tears from the other man’s cheeks. 

“It’ll be okay I promise.” He whispered gently into Shawn’s ear, “But for now, let's go back to bed.” Shawn hummed into Lassie’s neck, where he had rested his head, as he nodded in agreement. Lassie’s only reply was to gently grab Shawn’s bruised wrist, leading him back into bed.

_

“Spencer.” Lassiter shook Shawn’s shoulder. Shawn groaned into his pillow. He felt like he hadn’t slept at all, even though he had caught a couple hours. Instead of by his side Lassie was standing next to his side of the bed, already dressed in a different suit than the tragically wet one from the night before. Shawn groaned again extra loud so Lassie could hear his dismay. 

“Spencer, I let you sleep in late but we have to leave soon.” Lassie pulled the sheets back, forcing the cold air on Shawn's back. 

“Fuck you Lassie.” He whined into his pillow again, this time shifting to look at Lassie. He didn’t look amused. 

“We’ve got to get your motorcycle from the bar.” Lassiter said in a more serious tone.

“Oh.” Shawn rolled back over so he couldn’t see the panic creeping back into his face.

It was another silent car ride to the bar, thankfully it wasn’t a very long one. Shawn had been more immature this morning than in the last 24 hours, so that was a good sign. Lassiter never thought he’d be looking forward to the immaturity but now he was hoping for it. Shawn stayed suspiciously quiet until they pulled into the parking lot of the bar, His motorcycle was still in the same spot, except at 7 in the morning the parking lot was empty. Lassie parked right next to the spot and turned to Shawn. He had the same far away look in his eyes from the night before and he was staring at the entrance to the alley next to the building. There was obnoxious yellow crime scene tape although Shawn wasn’t sure why it was there. He stepped outside the car walking towards his motorcycle. It was then a cripplingly real flashback hit him. He was suddenly against the wall again pressed there by another body. Lassie watched Shawn stop in the middle of walking to his motorcycle and he knew something was wrong. He was by Shawns side before he knew it. 

“No, I don’t want to… please no.” Shawn was muttering as he walked up next to him, only when he reached where Shawn was standing could he see the tears streaming down Shawn’s face, and how his body slightly shook. Without thinking Lassie pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Shawn.” He said firmly in his ear. “Shawn you’re safe. You aren’t there anymore.” 

Shawn’s eyes opened wide, realizing where he was. He was mortified.

“You can’t drive home like that, just come with me to the police station and I’ll call your dad to take you home or something.” Lassie said gently pushing Shawn towards the car again. 

“Please don’t call my dad.” Shawn’s voice was quiet and small again. “Lassie can you please let me drive my motorcycle. I promise I’ll be fine.” His voice sounded a lot surer of this statement then he did. 

“No, Shawn, you can’t. I guess I could get you assigned to this new case, and we can figure out everything else later when we get home.” Lassie sighed, looking over at Shawn for clarification. Shawn smiled. It was faint but it gave Lassie hope, and that was all he needed.

Juliet gave Lassie a skeptical look, as he walked through the station with the younger Spencer on his tail. She watched Shawn take a seat on the bench outside the Chief's office, while Carlton went inside her office. Strange. Even more strange were the awful black and blue marks surrounding Shawn’s neck. He looked like the walking dead, literally. 

“Hey Shawn. What are you doing here? Especially with Lassiter.” She gave him a skeptical look, sitting down next to him on the bench. 

He looked surprised by her question but masked it with a shy smile. “Gotta keep Lassie in check, you know. Also I think he’s helping me officially get on this case.” He said pointing inside the chief’s office.

Juliet noticed his voice was much quieter than usual and his smile didn’t meet his eyes. It was unusual. She started to worry. What happened last night that she wasn’t a part of? She had heard they caught the rapist/murderer last night but no one would tell her details, and she hadn’t gotten the chance to ask her partner yet. It’s like they were all sworn to secrecy. 

“What happened to your neck, Shawn?” She had his attention again. Juliet watched his face change from terror, to pain, to the fakest smile she ever saw. 

“Oh! This?!” He said fake laughing pointing towards the marks on his neck. “I was trying this collar thingy of Gus’ the other night and what do you know it shocked me pretty bad.” He laughed a little more to make it convincing. She didn’t look convinced and all he could think was Carlton please get out here soon.

“Isn’t Gus’ on vacation? Also Shawn, that really looks like a thumbprint. You look like a walking strangulation--”

“O’Hara, aren’t you busy?” Lassiter coughed, as he walked out of the Chief’s office. Shawn let out a huge breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in, as he got up to talk to Lassiter.

“You’re on the case.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Gus comes home today Lassie.” Shawn yawned, he was sitting on Lassie’s couch with a slice of pineapple pizza in his hand. He hadn’t felt this tired in a long time.

“That’s good. You’ll have to give him a call and tell him that you’re staying with me tonight, so he doesn’t worry.” Carlton was walking into the living room with a pepperoni pizza in his hand, and plopped down next to Shawn. 

“Oh, I’m staying with you am I?” Shawn’s face perked into a smile. He was relieved and happy at the same time that he didn’t have to worry about asking Lassitor if he could stay again. He didn’t like to admit when he needed help but Lassie read his mind like an open book.

“Tonight. Because I didn’t think you were fit to go home after the parking lot event today.” Lassiter said almost scowling, he didn’t want Shawn to get too comfortable. Or did he? He wasn’t too sure anymore. 

He regretted what he said almost immediately because Shawn looked down, not meeting his eyes again. 

“You know, I didn’t mean to. It was overwhelming, that’s all.” Shawn was quiet, his voice small again. God Carlton hated that he had just done that to him. That had taken him back to that horrible place.

“I’m sorry, Spen- Shawn. I didn’t mean to bring it up, I just didn’t think you should be alone.” Shawn shuddered and pushed himself closer to Lassie. Carlton’s arm wrapped around Shawns shoulders pulling him in even closer

“Thank you.” He whispered into Carlton’s body. It was comforting to have someone who cared so much about him.

Shawn had woken up in a fright. He was soaked in sweat and to his horror, the bed that he didn’t remember getting into was empty, and cold. He looked at the clock and it was still early only 11 pm. He must have fallen asleep on Lassie on the couch. But why wasn’t Lassie with him? 

He pulled himself out of bed, found one of Lassiter’s sweatshirts which he threw on, and headed to the kitchen where he hoped he'd find him. To his dismay all he found was an empty apartment. He reached for his phone which was still on the coffee table where he left it earlier. There were a couple texts from Juliet and there was one missed call from his dad, but there was nothing from the person he wanted them to be from, so he dialed Lassie.

“Hey, uh, where are you?” He hated how vulnerable he sounded when Carlton answered his phone. 

“Hey, I’m at the station. We got a new lead on the case and Juliet and I are checking it out. You okay?” Shawn thought he sounded concerned, but then he convinced himself he made it up in his head. 

“Okay. Just didn’t know where you went. Be safe okay?” Shawn said timidly, Lassie could picture him fidgeting with his fingers because he was uncomfortable. 

“Yep, see you later.” Lassiter ended the call.

“Who was that?” Juliet asked, wiggling her eyebrows, “A girlfriend?” Jules always asked too many questions, Lassie thought. 

“No. It was Shawn. He’s reviewing the case at my apartment.” He knew it was a half lie but it was convincing to Juliet. Shawn would be sleeping again by the time Lassiter got back home. He usually would roll his eyes at that comment but it was so unlike Shawn to rest while he had a case he was hired for. He always worked until the criminal was caught. It was one of the only things that really motivated him; that really sparked the life into his eyes. Shawn loved to help people, rarely caring for himself. 

Just then Lassiter’s phone rang again. It was Henry Spencer. The anxiety in his heart rocketted, What could he want?

“Hello?” He never sounded unsure, until now.

“Hi I’m calling regarding the phone call I got late last night? I was sleeping and no one had called me back about it. I haven’t heard from my son. Have you seen him? Has he gotten a hold of you?” Henry rambled just like his son. Now Lassie knew where Shawn got it from. 

“Yes, Shawn is fine. He’s been hired for a new case and he’s at my place working on it and eating pizza.” Lassie said thinking of earlier in the night when Shawn had fallen asleep on him, He looked so peaceful, Carlton was thankful he hadn’t woken up when Juliet called. 

“What happened last night then? No one seems to know.” Henry sounded suspicious. 

“Chief just called you because we were trying to settle if Shawn was hired for a case and no one could decide. You are officially in charge of that.” He heard a sigh of relief as Henry thanked him and hung up. Huh guess he bought the lie Lassie thought.

“Hey, Carlton. That’s not what you told me happened last night. What’s going on?” Worry had filled her eyes. “It’s something to do with Shawn isn’t it? And those horrible marks on his neck.” Carlton sighed, admitting defeat. 

“Listen, you’re sworn to secrecy, okay? For Shawn’s sake.” She nodded her head so he could continue, “We were investigating a rapist who strangled guys at a gay bar, and it happened to be someone Shawn was dating, and when Shawn broke up with him he turned violent, and that’s when the attacks started.” Lassie paused for enough time for him to breathe, and Juliet to gasp. “Then he went for Shawn.” Carlton’s voice went quiet, so quiet Juliet could barely hear him, “I was too late.” He whispered. 

Juliet had never seen Carlton so close to crying in her life, so she did the only thing she knew to do. She hugged him and said, “Maybe you should go home. I can do the rest of this work.” 

It was almost 1 when he arrived home. Shawn had appeared to be sleeping when Lassie got home so he took a shower and then carefully crawled into bed, he didn't want to wake him up. To his surprise Shawn rolled over facing Carlton with a sleepy smile and said, “Missed you.” In the sleepiest voice he’d ever heard. It made Carlton smile, and then wider as Shawn pulled him closer. “Don’t like sleeping without you.” Shawn murmured into Lassie’s chest before falling slowly back asleep. He felt safe.

Lassiter liked to be up early no matter what day it was, so he was up at 6 getting in the shower and getting himself ready for work. Usually he grabbed his breakfast on the way to work, but today he decided to cook. He wanted Shawn to wake up to something nice. There was a loud knock on his door, as he was preparing breakfast. Shawn wasn’t awake yet, so Lassie was forced to get the door.

“Hello Guster, come on in.” Gus would have pushed past Lassiter anyway.

“Where’s Shawn?” He sounded threatening, for Guster.

“Sleeping still.” Suddenly the floor became very interesting to him. 

Gus made his way through the apartment to the bedroom, where he found his best friend sleeping peacefully, as Lassiter had described. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Gus asked Lassie when they were back in the kitchen. 

“Shawn didn’t tell you?” Lassie asked, raising an eyebrow, as he continued cooking the bacon on the stovetop. 

“Shawn hasn’t spoken to me in 2 days and if you don’t think that’s weird, I do. He calls me 10 times a day every day for stupid stuff. I’ve been worried sick.”

Lassie scratched the back of his neck, “Not sick enough to come home.” He said sheepishly. It was a low blow but it was the truth. Gus probably could have prevented the events of that night better than he could have. “Shawn’s ex boyfriend has been raping and murdering people from a gay club since the breakup, and finally he tried to murder Shawn.” Lassie explained dryly. He was tired of being the one to tell this story but he understood why Shawn wouldn’t want to. Gus' eyes opened wide and he put his hands over his mouth to keep himself from screaming. 

“Actually I was wondering if you could do me a favor?” Lassie asked Gus, who looked extremely hesitant, but agreed anyway. “I was wondering if you would be able to drive either my car or Shawn's motorcycle home from the club?” Lassie sighed remembering the morning he and Shawn had gone. 

“Yeah I can drive your car, no way in hell I’m getting on his piece of-”

“What are you guys talking about?” Shawn asked mid yawn. Then he realized Gus was there.”GUS!” He threw his arms around his friend. “I missed you a lot man.” 

“I missed you too Shawn. I did get worried though, I haven’t heard from you in a while.” Gus was staring his best friend up and down. He looked skinnier to him. 

“Uh... it was only 2 days.” Shawn gave a sheepish smile, anxiety building in his chest. Changing the subject quickly Shawn gasped, “Oh my god, you made breakfast?” Shawn’s lips curled into a real smile and for some reason Lassie wanted to kiss him right there, but there stood Gus right in the way of a perfect moment. 

“Yes and they’re pineapple.” Lassie held out a fork with a piece of pancake for Shawn to try. It was immediately gone. Shawn made a satisfied hum and went to grab a plate for more.

“Listen Shawn. I’m gonna get your motorcycle today with Gus. You want to go to the Psych office or the police station with me?” Lassiter turned to Shawn, whose mouth was completely stuffed with pancake. He held up his pointer finger saying for Lassie to wait a sec until he swallowed. 

“I think it’d be more beneficial for me to go with you because I haven’t seen all the official case details.” Shawn desperately wanted to touch lassiter in some sort of way, to show appreciation for the breakfast but Gus was standing right there and it made him uneasy. 

“Listen Shawn, I haven’t even unpacked yet, and I have to work. After I’m done helping drive the car home, I have to leave. Can you fill me in on the details of the case we’re hired on tonight?” Gus asked nicely so Shawn agreed.

The car ride was quiet until Gus finally spoke. “What actually happened to my best friend?” He couldn’t ignore the barely faded bruises he had seen on Shawn’s neck. He did look like a strangulation victim, which explained Lassie’s story. Lassiter didn’t want to answer this question, the events replayed in his head many times since it happened. It had been quiet for a couple minutes, and when Lassie turned to Gus he was staring at him awaiting a reply. 

“When I got there the guy was strangling him.” Lassie said blinking hard, it was a difficult memory. “I’m sorry Gus, but he’d also been raped. There was good evidence it actually happened. When we caught him the sick bastard was bragging about it.” Lassie’s voice was strained. It was so hard telling someone something so personal about someone they cared about. 

They had reached the bar parking lot, Shawn’s motorcycle in the exact spot he and Lassie had left it in. Facing Gus, as they got out of the car Carlton said, 

“The reason I asked you to help me is because I brought Shawn yesterday to drive it home and he didn’t even make it to the vehicle without freaking out. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to be near this place again.” Gus looked down feeling guilty for not being there, he didn’t notice Carlton waving the keys in front of him until he said something. Carlton had never driven a motorcycle so this would be fun.

He had parked it out front of the apartment complex, right next to where Guster had parked the car, thanked Gus and was headed back into his apartment. He really enjoyed having someone to come home to, despite the circumstances. 

“Shawn! I’m back, are you almost ready?” He yelled through the apartment. Shawn emerged from the bedroom wearing one of lassiter’s sweatshirts. He opened his mouth to complain but he couldn't find it in him. He even liked seeing Shawn in his clothes. 

Shawn looked at the ground. He wanted desperately to ask Lassiter if he had told Gus but he couldn’t form the words. He tried, 

“Carlton.” He had his attention now all he had to do was spit the words out. He started to ask but his voice failed him and he felt his face get hot again and his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill. 

“Shawn, yes I told him. It’s okay you don’t have to do it.” He saw Shawn deflate immediately, whipping away any evidence of tears from his eyes as quickly as he could. 

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I know it’s so stupid and I should do it myself but I already am reliving it ever second of the day and I don’t want anyone else to go through it either.” His voice got quieter, “You’re the only one who makes me feel safe, I don’t think about him when you're around. I know you saw things too. I know you think about it too, and that makes you different because you understand.” He knew he was rambling but he had to get it off his chest. Carlton ate every word of it up, he never paid attention to someone like he paid attention to the words Shawn was saying that day. 

“Shawn it’s not stupid, and don’t apologize. I do understand and I’ll only tell the people you ask me to.” He said walking closer to Shawn. He hated to see him struggling by himself. He wrapped his arm around Shawn’s waist and pulled him closer. Shawn felt Lassie's warm lips pressed to his forehead, and then his body was wrapped in a Lassiter hug. These were the best kind of hugs Shawn had ever experienced. He made everything better.

“We have work to do.” He said simply pulling away from Shawn. He earned an eye roll from the younger man.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the following Sunday morning, Shawn and Lassiter’s bodies were entangled together beneath the sheets. Lassie had gotten very comfortable with Shawn being there, and every time he went to drop him off at his apartment some sort of excuse was made. Either Shawn made it, or sometimes even Lassie. They had solved another case, this time together, as a team. Everyone at the station had been surprised at what a good team they were together, except Jules, she had expected for a while they would be made for each other. 

Shawn’s phone was ringing obnoxiously. Squinting he read the clock on his phone. 6 am. Who calls at 6 am? It was his dad of course. Lassie wasn’t even awake yet. 

“What do you need?!” He whisper-shouted through his phone. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been avoiding me, Shawn?” He groaned into Lassiter's chest in reply.

“It’s 6 am in the morning what could possibly be so urgent?” He whispered again, he’d cry if he woke his sweet peaceful looking boyfriend. Well they weren’t really official yet but he was confident Lassie felt the same.

“I want you to come for lunch today. Also why are you whispering?” Henry sounded annoyed. 

“None of your business. See you then.” With that he hung up. Carlton was half awake and pulled Shawn’s phone out of his hand and dropped it off the bed. He earned a smile from Shawn and a half hearted “Hey!”

“Whose that?” Lassie whispered, his words slurring. 

“Dad, wants us to come for lunch.” Shawn groaned into his boyfriend again. Instead of worrying Lassie pressed up closer against Shawn and placed a sloppy kiss on his exposed neck. Shawn giggled quietly in delight and whispered, “Don’t kiss me with your morning breath.” Lassie rolled his eyes, “You love it.” placing soft kisses up Shawn’s neck until he reached his lips. Lassie paused when he reached his lips. Shawn held his breath with his eyes closed, he realized, Lassie wasn’t going to kiss him. He could feel Lassie’s breath on his lips, so close he could almost taste them. Finally he opened his eyes slightly to see Lassie right there waiting. “Fucking tease.” Shawn whispered before Lassie’s lips crashed into his earning a low moan from Shawn. There was nothing Lassie loved more than kissing Shawn.

Lassie seemed exhausted so Shawn let him sleep in, he didn’t get many days off from work so he figured he needed the sleep. It was almost 11 when Shawn decided he had to get up. Carefully untangling his legs from Lassie’s and trying to pry his strong protective arms off of him. He really didn’t want to wake him up but he was starting to feel trapped. He could feel the lump in his throat back, and made it hard to swallow or breathe. He was yelling at his mind to stop and that it was just Lassie, the person who saved him but all he felt was the arms of his rapist digging into his skin. He was there again, pressed against the wall in the alley unable to move, unable to breath. The man he used to trust standing in front of him forcing his alcoholic lips on Shawn’s skin. He hated what he was remembering. All of a sudden he could hear Lassie’s voice faintly, it was saying something he could barely make out. He was telling him to breathe, and the words got louder and louder until he was back in bed again. 

“Breathe with me. Shawn, please breathe. It’s okay, I’m right here.” Carlton was in full panic mode, laying almost on top of shawn to help him match his breathing. He hadn’t realized he was crying again until Lassie had gently wiped the tears off his face again. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I wanted to let you sleep in. I’m sorry this keeps happening. I’m sorry you have to deal-” His apologies were cut off with another kiss, this time much softer. Shawn found comfort in it and finally his breathing was back to normal. Lassie layed back down next to him.

“Stop apologizing Shawn.” He whispered back. 

Shawn was up out of bed as soon as he thought Lassie was back asleep. He pulled his shirt over his head, and slowly pulled his pants down. Through his one peeped open eye, Carlton saw the bruises across Shawn’s body again. He was thankful that they were finally starting to fade, he hated how they hurt his almost-boyfriend’s beautiful body. He promised to himself to never let it happen again. 

“Hey Carlton.” He was shaken awake by Shawn’s gentle hands. He was standing by the bed looking down at Carlton. Shit, he must've dozed off again. 

“Are you coming with me to dad’s house?” He looked so vulnerable, obviously not wanting to go alone. 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He yawned, stretching. “Be ready soon, baby.” 

Carlton had called him baby. That was the first time Lassie had ever called him anything besides Shawn, and even that was special to him. Shawn's heart was glowing.

It was a short car ride but it felt like an eternity. Lassiter was driving of course, he would never let Shawn drive his precious car. 

“He’s gonna ask you about it, Shawn.” Lassie finally broke the silence. 

“I know.” Shawn looked at his hands

“Do you want to tell him, or do you want me to?” 

“I think this is something I have to do.” Shawn cringed but finally looked up at Lassie. They had arrived at his dad’s house. 

“I believe in you.” Was all he said before getting out of the car.

“Hello Lassiter! Didn’t know I should be expecting more people.” He shot daggers at Shawn just standing in the doorway. Shawn felt his stomach flip flop, he was starting to feel really queasy. This was a bad idea. 

Carlton read his mind and gently placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

“Yeah we were just working on something when you called and he thought why not bring me you know since we were already together.” Carlton tried to help Shawn’s case only to make it worse in Henry's eyes. 

“What could you two possibly be working on at 6 am. Shawn wouldn’t get out of bed for anyone.” Henry pried.

“Dad, if you really must know, we were sleeping, okay?” That seemed to shut everyone up, as Shawn wandered into the kitchen. He was already on edge and he didn’t need them both making it worse, “Not that it’s any of your business.” Shawn mumbled on his way past his dad. 

“Shawn. You know what? It is my business because I know something happened to you. You wouldn’t be living with Lassiter for a week or bringing him with you to my house like some sort of emotional support animal if everything was fine.” Henry sighed heavily, only now noticing the bruises that hadn’t faded completely. He reached out to run his hands over them, not believing they were really real, but Shawn flinched, his whole body took a step backwards running right into Lassiter. 

Again his father tried, “What happened? It was something with the investigation last week wasn’t it? No one will tell me anything.” 

“Yeah something happened, but I don’t really want to talk about it.” Shawn said looking down. He felt a gentle shove from Lassie behind him. He knew it meant ‘you came here to tell him so don’t chicken out’ but his words felt choked and wrong. He didn’t think he had it in him to tell his dad something so disturbing. 

“Shawn, whatever it is you can tell me. I know we haven’t always gotten along, and we don’t always agree on everything but whatever it is this time I’m not going to judge.” His dad sounded almost understanding, and it gave Shawn the push to continue. 

“I, uh… almost got strangled by an ex boyfriend last week.” Shawn looked down, the ground suddenly becoming more interesting to him. He didn’t think he had it in him to tell his dad the whole truth. His voice sounded choked and forced as he continued, “Carlton found me in the alley while he was doing it.” Both Henry and Lassie looked surprised at his use of Lassie’s actual name, something he barely ever called the older man. 

“So that’s what the bruises are.” Henry wondered aloud. Shawn felt transparent. 

“He also did something else to me.” Shawn choked out, suddenly his knees felt weak as his dad was staring at him full of wonder, fear, and Shawn didn’t look long enough to tell what else. Lassie held onto Shawn’s arm to balance him. He was grateful.

“Well what happened, son.” Henry said, unable to take the suspense his son was building, and the anxiety in his stomach.

“He forced me to do stuff I didn’t wanna do.” Shawn whispered, tears threatening the edges of his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them fall. Not in front of his dad. Finally, he looked back up, Henry looked shocked, and upset. Much to Shawn’s surprise, his dad pulled him into a tight hug. It was awkward at first, his dad wasn’t the touchy feely sort, but Shawn relaxed into it. At least his dad wasn’t yelling at him or lecturing him. 

“I tell you Shawn, you have the worst taste in men.” His dad later said while they were eating lunch. Shawn and Carlton both laughed, hands intertwined under the table. This time Shawn had gotten something right, and he was sure of it. 

Shawn hadn’t wanted to leave the house again after they arrived home but Carlton had convinced him to go out to dinner with him, ‘after all we don’t have any food in the fridge’ Lassie had said to him when they arrived back. 

Lassiter was worried about Shawn less and less because he seemed to be improving. He wasn’t having as many panic attacks, or whatever they were, Carlton thought bitterly. The only thing that still concerned him for the most part was Shawn didn’t ever want to leave the house. He’d rather cook himself then go out, and he’d rather read the case files Carlton brought home then go to the station and bother anyone. It was so unlike Shawn that it really concerned Lassie 

They were sitting at one of Shawn’s favorite places. 

“Hey Shawn, why don’t you go to the Psych office tomorrow with Gus, and see about that new case Chief Vick assigned you. It’d be good for you to get out of the house, back to things as they usually are.” He asked him cautiously. He couldn’t read Shawn’s face, he gave off absolutely nothing, not even a hint to how he was feeling. 

“I can do that. That’s a good idea.” He said giving Lassie a small smile while taking another bite of food. 

“Also I have another question.” Shawn thought Lassie looked nervous almost. He couldn’t help but be curious as to what the head detective could want. 

“Yes?” 

“Do you want to… uh… move in?” He knew it was a stupid question really, he and Shawn had only discovered the new liking for eachother recently, to be exact a week ago, but Lassie just thought it was stupid for Shawn to still be paying for another apartment when he hadn’t been to his place since the attack. Shawn even looked surprised, and had put his fork down. 

“You really want that?” He seemed shocked, almost disbelieving.

“Of course I do Shawn, I wouldn't have asked if I didn’t. I just don’t see the point in not making it official since you practically live with me anyway.” 

“I don’t think I can sleep without you by my side.” Shawn admitted sheepishly, and Lassie knew that meant yes. He was ecstatic, of course he would never give the satisfaction of Shawn knowing that.

_

It was 1 in the morning, and this time it was Lassiter’s turn to be wide awake. He was sitting straight up in bed, back leaned against two pillows, as Shawn rolled over to face him, expecting to be able to snuggle in deeper to Lassie. He was only barely awake, but he could see Carlton was wide awake. His eye’s shot opened and worry filled his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered to Lassie, sitting up to assume the same position as the older man. 

“Yeah. Okay. I was just wondering about something.” Shawn hummed for him to continue. 

“What would we be considered? Since you live with me and all?” Lassie knew the answer he was hoping for, but he was so new to this whole thing he relied on Shawn to label things.

“I think we’d be considered boyfriends.” Shawn mumbled curling up, back into his boyfriend’s chest. Lassie’s lips curled into a smile as he wrapped his arms around Shawn's back. 

“Boyfriends.” He whispered contentedly into Shawn’s neck. He was slowly drifting to sleep with a smile permanently on his face, and the thought, I think I love my boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of this was filler ik but i've never had a clearer idea of how i wanted to write something. the only thing i really wish i could have done differently was found a way to not use names so much. it feels kind of repetitive, but with a m/m relationship it's hard to keep track of who is doing what, hence all the names repeated constantly.


End file.
